the complimentary postive side of teshuva

With the progression of the period of Teshuva and recently begun slichot, we find ourselves in a period of Cheshbon haNefesh, literally an accounting of the soul, a period of introspection, reflection on how we have been compared to how we could have been and how we could be. As one friend advised me, "Imagine the perfect Danny coming to you, what would he tell you? How would he be different from the current you?"

And yet, the process of reflection and teshuva can be difficult. Without neglecting the sincerity and intensity of teshuva, of seeking direction and forgiveness, I've been reminded of the importance of thinking positively in this period, recognizing the good, the accomplishments, the strengths. To quote Farid Esack's insights,

"this opening of our bosoms and struggling to come to grips with who we are must be
accompanied by a loving and compassionate gentleness. We need to promise ourselves
kindness, irrespective of what is uncovered in our journey of self-discovery. I am like a gift
unto myself from someone whom I hold in high regard. This gift may have become dirtied
in a lot of muck and I shall struggle to cleanse it. I shall enjoy the struggle but I shall not be
impatient and destroy it with self-hatred. I am I, inadequate and with lots of hang-ups, but
there is only one me, and so I must be gentle with myself."*

Teshuva is really about orienting yourself and making forward progress on the journey of becoming the best person you can be. Beyond just remembering that as important as it is to be kind to others, and so also to be kind to yourself (after all, that sets the standard for "loving your fellow as yourself), I think that we have to balance the tendency to think of teshuva as a process considering what we did wrong with consideration of what we did right. Ask not only, "Who and how have I hurt in the past year? Where did I go astray?" but also, "Where did I manifest my Godly potential?" In your process of heshbon hanefesh, consider who you are in terms of what are your strengths, your positive qualities. Did you engage them for your own good and the greater good? When? When did you miss an opportunity to do so? What can you do in the coming year to make sure you make the most of yourself? Ideally, the process of teshuva helps us along the path to where we are growing and living out of our strengths and positive traits, and that they are shaping the development and interactions in our lives, not just the distancing from the negatives. This is the difference between just removing weeds vs cultivating a beautiful garden.

We did good
I want to share an acrostic affirming the good we might have achieved over the past year, not to replace, but rather to complement the review of our sins (אשמנו, בגדנו...). Try it yourself, think about the good things you did, and those you might have done, and resolve to continue such into the coming year.

Credit to my friend Zvi Friedlander for penning these words. Think about the positivity, and feel free to pat yourself on the back for each one.

"אהבנו, בטחנו, גידלנו, דיברנו טוב, התחדשנו, והסתקרנו, חידשנו, טעינו, ייעצנו, כיבדנו, למדנו, מרדנו, נתנו, סמכנו, עזרנו, פרצנו דרך. צירפנו, קירבנו, רצינו, שמרנו, שכחנו, תרמנו, תירצנו**, תיקנו."

**בשביל אחרים, במובן של לדון לכף זכות
We loved, we trusted, we helped people grow, we spoke words of goodness, we renewed ourselves, we were curious, we innovated, we erred, we shared advice, we respected, we learned, we rebelled, we gave, we supported, we helped, we explored new territory. We combined, we brought closer, we desired, we protected/did guard duty, we forgot, we contributed, we made excuses*, we fixed the broken.

*made excuses for others, in the sense of giving others the benefit of the doubt

and my own version
איחדנו, בירכנו, גדלנו, דיברנו בכנות, התפתחנו, וואונו, זכרנו, חייכנו, טיהרנו, התיחסנו, כללנו, למדנו, התמודדנו, נאבקנו, סמכנו, עזרנו, ועשינו חיים. התפשטנו***, צחקנו, הקשבנו, ריגשנו, שיתפנו תובנות.

***באופן מטאפורי

We united, we blessed, we grew, we spoke with sincerity, we developed ourselves, we wowed, we remembered, we smiled, we purified, we related to others, we included, we learned, we reckoned, we struggled, we supported, we helped, we enjoyed life. We stripped ourselves of encumbering layers, we laughed, we listened, we enthused, we shared insights.

and now your turn...

*p.54, On Being a Muslim